12 modern & traditional symbolic acts for your wedding ceremony and the top tips on how to choose them!
Your wedding day is something you’ve dreamt of for years! The love of your life finally gets down on one knee and pops the question, There are so many things to consider when planning your wedding day! But have you thought about what you want for the ceremony itself? The ceremony is a perfect way of offering that personal touch!
Sometimes weddings can feel like they have been picked off the shelf, the couple’s names have been slotted into a template. Why not stand out from the crowd? Incorporating a ritual or symbolic act of unity, personal and unique to you and your partner.
Not sure where to start? Luckily Nett Furley Humanist Wedding and Partnership Ceremonies Celebrant is here to offer some modern and traditional ideas for symbolic acts in your wedding ceremony and advice on the how to make your ceremony be meaningful
Symbolic acts – why have them?
Ever wondered why brides traditionally wear a white dress & veil? Or why we are familiar with the saying ’something old and something new? Traditions often originate from the fashion of the times;
The white wedding dress and veil was adopted after Queen Victoria’s wedding, symbolising affluence and extravagance. ‘Something Old’ represents the ties to the bride’s family and ‘Something New’ represents the new life with her husband.
Even the exchanging of rings is a tradition from ancient Egypt. The ring symbolises a never-ending circle and the space inside is a gateway. Strategically placed on the fourth finger on the left hand as the “ring” finger contained a ‘vein of love’ which leads straight to the heart.
The bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding can be traced to ancient arranged marriages, an attempt to not let the couple see each other beforehand, in case they called it off.!!
Rituals are important to us and some have been observed for many hundreds of years.
So, what can you do at your ceremony that has meaning for you as a couple?
Circle Ceremony - for an intimate wedding!
Guests are seated in a circle around the bride and groom, what better way to bind your love literally surrounded by your loved ones—it'll make everyone feel included too!
Sand blending - perfect to include children!
Uses individual grains (you) blending forever with other grains (your partner). The bride and groom each have different coloured sand and takes turns pouring it into a bottle or box, forming a layered effect. Great if you have children or family, incorporate colours that represent them too and ask them to join in!
Drumming circles
Drumming circles can be romantic, tribal and powerful and can bring people who don’t know each other together in a fun way!
Flower circles
Each guest brings a wildflower and places them around the couple during their ceremony. After the newlywed couple can even use the flowers to make the bride’s bouquet, a great way to include your guests and this will make some pretty photographs!
Handfasting
Involves a couple standing face to face holding opposite hand as they are tied together with ribbon symbolising unity and togetherness. Why not involve friends, parents, children or the celebrant to bind the ribbon.
Plant a tree or pot a plant - Perfect for an outdoor ceremony!
During the ceremony, the couple should place soil from two separate pots on top of the plant! Representing two sides coming together and growth of a relationship!
Tying the Knot (literally!)
The couple should tie a knot in a fisherman's rope usually after the exchanges of vows and rings. Add an extra unity touch by passing the rope around all the guests first!
Hope Tree - perfect for a rustic wedding!
Get everyone to write their hopes for you on a wooden leaf and attach it to a tree that was handmade by one of your guests and can be kept as a keepsake;
Give a gift to your guests – Maybe a packet of wildflowers, in exchange for a spoken message of support from each of them.
Candles - perfect for a twilight wedding
Each guest lights a candle for the bride and groom - beautiful and traditional. Candles will always create a romantic intimate atmosphere. Perhaps the parents of the bride and groom will start lighting a candle and each guest will be passed the flame to light their candle.
A wine, beer or cocktail blending ceremony
For a tasty non traditional unity ceremony! Blend your favourite drinks together in a Quaich to create the perfect blend and mix (just like your marriage)! A great symbolic way to celebrate the mixing of two cultures and to end your ceremony with guests! Cheers!
Time capsule or memory box
Includes love letters to each other, poems or meaningful items. You can even ask your guests to write well wishes for you both to include. Add your favourite photos or some polaroids from your wedding day! Hammer or lock the box closed together taking it in turns. Plan to open it on your 5th, 10th or even 20th wedding anniversary!
Pass the rings around
Each of your guest is to hold your wedding rings and offer well wishes and positivity!!
Clay imprint
Making an imprint for firing later! This could be of your hands and involve your friends or children!
Bread or food sharing
Break up the food and share with each other or guests, a symbol of nourishment!
Material
Every guest brings a piece of material to be made into a quilt during the first year of marriage!
Arch of swords- perfect for honoring a military bride or groom
The newly weds passes under the sword arch as they leave the place of their ceremony
Paint or sketch a picture - for the artistic couple!
Sketch each other or paint a picture together! Why not sketch each other while not looking down at the paper! Focus on each other and enjoy the end result! A bit of fun
And a few more… think of the elements
Wind symbols - Wind spinners, blow bubbles, banners, flags or chimes!
These are just a few to mention. The possibilities are endless! So, what can you do at your ceremony that is unique & has meaning for you as a couple? Have a good think.
Nett’s top 4 tips when planning a symbolic act for your wedding ceremony!
Choose something that has real meaning to you as a couple or something that represents what you are aspiring to.
If you and your partner are into dungeons and dragons, is there an activity that you can create around it that also symbolises what you mean to each other? If you’re musicians can you use that skill and passion to symbolise your aspirations? If you’re firefighters, how could you use fire to represent the heat in your hearts? Choose something that is totally unique and personal to you.
2. Don’t forget to consider the environment when choosing symbolic actions.
Releasing lanterns can be dangerous to wildlife; Letting balloons loose means that plastic ends up polluting our landscape; Is it appropriate to cage birds just so that they can be released at your wedding? There are so many things you can do that are even more effective and beautiful – Think biodegradable, ribbons and streamers, planting trees, scattering flower petals, flying kites and spinners, blowing bubbles.
3. Consider involving your guests
Using symbolic actions to involve your friends, family or children can be very moving and often fun.
4. Do not just pick a symbolic act off the shelf.
If you saw something done at your friend’s wedding, then the chances are everyone else has too. Think about what you want to convey and then find a way of saying it, rather than picking a symbolic act you like the look of and simply slotting it in. That’s not to say don’t have something you have seen before, but just be clear why you want it.
For all your North West ceremony needs contact Nett Furley- Humanist Wedding and Partnership Celebrant who can help make your wedding day perfect and unique to you! Covering Cheshire & Merseyside and all of the North West!
Website: www.nettfurleyceremonies.com/symbolic-actions | Email: nett.furley@care4free.net | Telephone: 07771 595 626
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